How it developed

This is a continuation from

How it continued

About a year later I met what was to be my wife. To begin with she was always in the mood, which was great. Definitely no complaints from me. I moved in with her and it was all going very well until I started to disconnect myself with her, sometimes doing anything to get out of having sex with her. One time she tried to wake me up with a blow job I pretended to be asleep the whole time.

I then discovered she was having an affair, probably because she wasn’t getting sex from me.

The night I discovered she had been seeing someone we had a great row about it and ended the night by making up and having sex, later realising that I was the second guy to have sex with her that night.

The next day after a long chat we somehow ended up making plans to get married the next year but she still wanted to see her lover for the time being which for some reason I agreed to.

A month later she told me she had told him she didn’t want to see him anymore to my surprise but total joy.

We did get married and things were going well.

About a year into our marriage I found a short black skirt while my wife was out and could not resist getting naked and putting it on. I’d forgotten just how good it felt. So, so good! Well of course I had to put on some panties too and high heels. Followed by a garter belt and stockings. Oh why couldn’t I dress like this all the time!? Although one day I did wear her panties to work which I found very exciting.

So the cycle began, every time my wife was out I’d be dressing up. I especially loved wearing her/my baby doll, it made me feel so sexy. I would love walking around the house feeling all girly.

I always worried that my wife would discover I was wearing her lingerie so decided I should buy my own. Another exciting adventure.

I went into my local hyper market and found some pretty panties i liked and quickly put them in my basket. That was all I intended to buy this time but then I saw a sexy baby doll that I just had to have. So that went into my basket too. I bought other stuff so it wasn’t just those items i was paying for at the checkout.

I couldn’t wait to get home to try on my new lingerie. Emphasis on MY. Within minutes of getting in I was looking at girly me in the mirror and loving it. I wished I could spend all night in my new outfit but I needed to get back into my guy clothes and find place to hide my purchases.  I decided on the attic as she never went in there.

One day while my wife was at home all I could think about was wearing my girly clothes, I was desperate to wear them. I decided what the hell, she’s busy making dinner why don’t I just go into the attic and put my clothes on up there, she won’t know.

I did just that. It was such a thrill wearing lingerie and being girly while my wife was in the house too. Knowing that I could get caught too, although unlikely, but still it was possible and it made me very excited. Especially when she called me down for dinner and I replied still wearing sexy, girly underwear.

I had always considered myself to be a good love maker despite the fact that sex with my wife always ended up with her having to get herself off even when we’d been at it for what I considered a long time. No matter what I did she would end up having to give herself an orgasm.

My confidence in that area took a huge blow when she decided enough was enough and told me that I needed to improve in this area or she would find someone to give her the orgasms she needed. She also told me she had spoken to my ex about this and she had told her she experienced the same thing. Something she had never said to me. This would probably explain why both of them had affairs while with me.

I didn’t have a clue have to rectify this so I didn’t bother. I’m not sure if she found someone to please her but I suspect she did.

By this time I spent a lot of time fantasising about being dressed up and being on my knees while a guy put his cock in my mouth. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I loved the thought of being on my knees looking up at a guy while kissing, licking and sucking his huge hard cock until he filled my mouth with his cum and I swallowed it all. I had gotten to the point that when I masturbated I only ever thought about guys never women. If I tried to imagine women nothing would happen so I would go back to imagining me with a guy.

One thing struck me though. I never fancied guys to look at. Only girls did that. I found women very sexy but not men. So why did I only fantasise about sex with guys not women? Very confusing. I also only thought about giving them blow jobs nothing else. I so desperately wanted to try it. Would it ever happen though? I certainly hoped so.

To be continued….








How it continued

This is a continuation from How It All Started

By the time I was 18 I got a promotion at work and which meant moving to another part of the country and obviously moving out from my mothers house. I did come home once a month for the weekend.

I was quite nervous about the new job and moving to a new area where i knew nobody and decided that I needed to find a girlfriend as soon as possible to help me settle down. I, for some reason was really popular with the girls straight away, almost like being in Hot In Cleveland (30 years too early).

I lasted there 4 months before my boss decided I was home sick and got me a transfer back home. Ironically once that had been decided I wanted to stay but it was too late. I still had about a month to go and suddenly all the girls wanted to go out with me, even some who already had boyfriends. So I started seeing a few, behind each others back.

While I was waiting for the train home and I saw in the newspaper and magazine stand a copy of Gay Times. I decided for a dare to myself I should buy it, to see if the woman serving at the counter would react in any way or maybe deep down to out myself to someone I didn’t know but at least I had to done it to someone. Another exciting and naughty deed.

It took me a while but I finally got my nerve up and did it. My heart was thumping away like mad. I was probably shaking too as I gave her the money. She didn’t react at all but I still felt a rush buying it.

I didn’t have the nerve to read it on the train so had to wait until I got home and into the privacy of my bed room. To be honest there was nothing in it that held my interest so I just put it back in my bag to get rid of later.

Over the weekend my mother went into my room for some reason I can’t remember. When she told me she had at first I thought nothing of it then I suddenly thought oh crap I hope she didn’t see that magazine. I did go bright red at the thought.

A couple of days later I realised she had seen it when she started going on about it being about time I had  a girlfriend. I was a little embarrassed but actually not too much.

We lived quite near to a beach and from time to time I loved walking up to the pier and the arcades and sometimes along the beach. The last time I did this was in the evening and it was dark. I wasn’t too far from the pier but it was already desserted when a guy cycled up behind me and said hi. I replied and then he said I take it you’re gay then. I was definitely surprised by that because there was nothing to suggest I was. I said no. To which he said well do you want a blow job? You don’t have to do anything but sit there. I just answered no thanks. A guy went past us and he said hi mate to him like he knew him and he said hi back. In my mind I thought about saying yes but I was just way too suspicious about him, thinking he had friends and would beat me up and mug me so at the earliest opportunity I crossed the road and went round a corner and stopped by a wall. A few minutes later I saw him ride off and look back at me. I quickly walked home wondering about what could have happened and why did he think I was gay.

A few months later I did have a girlfriend and about a year later we moved in together. She would go and visit her mum once a week in the evening. A few weeks later of this happening I was bored and decided to try on my girlfriends underwear. She had much more sexier clothes than my mother and it really got me excited wearing them. I especially enjoyed wearing her short skirt. To add extra spice to things I decided to venture outside. Not too far, but we lived at the top of three floors with someone living below. It was either a woman or I imagined it to be this. I went all the way down to bottom past her door and back. As far as I know nobody saw me.

When I got back inside I imagined the woman had opened the door and demand that I get my girly ass inside. So I did and she said I bet your girlfriend doesn’t know you like dressing in her things and being all girly does she? I admitted to her I didn’t and she said you are a naughty little girl aren’t you? I just nodded. She then said well naughty girls like you should be spanked so get over my knee now. I did as I was told. She pulled up my skirt then pulled my panties down and spanked me hard. Then sent me back upstairs. I enjoyed that fantasy but then it was time to change back to boring clothes and got and pick my girlfriend up from her mums house much to my disappointment.

I would do this every week until we moved to a new place. I’m not sure why but I stopped doing then. My girlfriend and I had sex every night up until this point too when we decided to do it less frequently. I didn’t know the real reason she wanted to stop at the the time, which was because she had started seeing someone at her job.

Shortly after we moved again and she started going to her mums twice a week and going to a gym (with her lover, which I still didn’t know about). I didn’t mind her being at home less because I had started dressing up in her clothes again. I just couldn’t resist her sexy clothes. One particular item was a sexy, pink baby doll I had bought her that was really for me to wear when she wasn’t around and it became my favourite thing to wear, sometimes with high heels. It made me feel so good.

At work a new guy started and he was very friendly. A few weeks after him starting, rumours were flying about him being gay and so it turned out to be. He told people that he was gay and living with his boyfriend. No big deal to most people but obviously a big deal to some.

One day he showed me a pic of him dressed up for the rocky horror show in women’s underwear. I didn’t think too much of it but did wonder why he showed me it.

One day, on my way from work home I saw him outside his block of flats and and he said hi, we talked for a while before he asked if I wanted to come upstairs. Well my girlfriend was working late so I thought why not.

We chatted for a while, had some tea then I looked at the time and realised I hadn’t taped Neighbours or Home and Away for my girlfriend so I told him I had to go. He seemed really disappointed and I did feel bad but not as bad as she would make me feel if I didn’t record her shows.

Looking back later I realised that he was probably interested in something more but as usual I was oblivious to it at the time.

Not long after, I discovered my girlfriend was cheating on me and after a few rocky months we split.

Whilst living on my own I did consider phoning a gay dating chat line but as usual didn’t have the nerve.

To be continued . . .


How It All Started

I guess the first time I saw anything to do with homosexuality was in a movie when two guys kissed. Michael York was one of the actors. I was about 12 and I was very surprised and I have to admit I didn’t like it at all. The next time i saw anything, again it was in a movie I was watching on TV probably a year later, both times I was alone. This time it was two teenagers naked in bed, under the covers. You didn’t see anything that was happening and you didn’t see anything you shouldn’t be seeing either, I guess it was left up to your imagination which for me, then, wasn’t anything but two teenagers naked in bed. My reaction this time was very different, for some reason it excited me. It felt naughty and  liked that.

I didn’t see anything like that again as a child. I had quite a few girlfriends over the next year or so then a few barron years until I had a serious relationship (for me) with a girl which lasted a year, from when I was 16 until just past my 17th birthday, when I finished with her for a reason I’m not sure of, maybe boredom, I don’t know.

She was the girl I lost my virginity to (I wasn’t her first) and I can remember  afterwards wondering what all the fuss was about. Why did everyone go on about how amazing it is, it wasn’t that great. On another occasion I got so bored halfway through that we just stopped.

About half a year later, for some reason I decided I wanted to try on my mothers clothes when I was alone in the house one day. I completely undressed and put her high heels on. It felt really good and I loved how it made me feel. That naughtiness again. I got an instant errection. My mother had full length mirrors in her bedroom and I found I loved how I looked in them. Next  I found some stockings and a suspender belt and put them on too. Again the feeling was amazing. Putting them on made me feel sexy. The feeling on my skin was just so sensual! I tried panties on next and I couldn’t stop looking at myself in the mirror. What a feeling! I pulled them down and left them around my ankles pretending that a guy was behind me and had pulled them down I really liked that feel and look. I pulled them back up again and tried a bra on but I didn’t like that so took it off. Then I found a short dress that buttoned up in the front from top to bottom. I did a few turns while looking in the mirror, loving the feeling of the dress swirling around. Wow! This feels so good, I thought, then walked around the house in my new look. I didn’t want to take them off but mother was due home soon so unfortunately the clothes had to come off.

After taking everything off and putting the clothes back I worried that my mother would notice but it didn’t stop me from doing it again almost evertime I was alone. I really did enjoy the girly look and feel when I dressed up. On every occasion I  hated taking them off and couldn’t wait for the next time. I wished I could spend the whole day wearing girls clothes and often fantasised that my mother made me dress as a girl and called me Vicky.

I started having thoughts of dressing up in a short dress, high heels, a wig and maybe some red lipstick but no underwear and going out into a busy shopping centre and holding hands with a boy and being his girlfriend. I then thought about taking him to a desserted alleyway and dropping to my knees and taking his penis in my mouth and sucking on it until he came and I swallowed it all. I pictured the whole thing in my mind and I knew I really wanted to do it. The thought of it sounded so exciting. Of course I didn’t have the nerve

To be continued….