I guess the first time I saw anything to do with homosexuality was in a movie when two guys kissed. Michael York was one of the actors. I was about 12 and I was very surprised and I have to admit I didn’t like it at all. The next time i saw anything, again it was in a movie I was watching on TV probably a year later, both times I was alone. This time it was two teenagers naked in bed, under the covers. You didn’t see anything that was happening and you didn’t see anything you shouldn’t be seeing either, I guess it was left up to your imagination which for me, then, wasn’t anything but two teenagers naked in bed. My reaction this time was very different, for some reason it excited me. It felt naughty and liked that.
I didn’t see anything like that again as a child. I had quite a few girlfriends over the next year or so then a few barron years until I had a serious relationship (for me) with a girl which lasted a year, from when I was 16 until just past my 17th birthday, when I finished with her for a reason I’m not sure of, maybe boredom, I don’t know.
She was the girl I lost my virginity to (I wasn’t her first) and I can remember afterwards wondering what all the fuss was about. Why did everyone go on about how amazing it is, it wasn’t that great. On another occasion I got so bored halfway through that we just stopped.
About half a year later, for some reason I decided I wanted to try on my mothers clothes when I was alone in the house one day. I completely undressed and put her high heels on. It felt really good and I loved how it made me feel. That naughtiness again. I got an instant errection. My mother had full length mirrors in her bedroom and I found I loved how I looked in them. Next I found some stockings and a suspender belt and put them on too. Again the feeling was amazing. Putting them on made me feel sexy. The feeling on my skin was just so sensual! I tried panties on next and I couldn’t stop looking at myself in the mirror. What a feeling! I pulled them down and left them around my ankles pretending that a guy was behind me and had pulled them down I really liked that feel and look. I pulled them back up again and tried a bra on but I didn’t like that so took it off. Then I found a short dress that buttoned up in the front from top to bottom. I did a few turns while looking in the mirror, loving the feeling of the dress swirling around. Wow! This feels so good, I thought, then walked around the house in my new look. I didn’t want to take them off but mother was due home soon so unfortunately the clothes had to come off.
After taking everything off and putting the clothes back I worried that my mother would notice but it didn’t stop me from doing it again almost evertime I was alone. I really did enjoy the girly look and feel when I dressed up. On every occasion I hated taking them off and couldn’t wait for the next time. I wished I could spend the whole day wearing girls clothes and often fantasised that my mother made me dress as a girl and called me Vicky.
I started having thoughts of dressing up in a short dress, high heels, a wig and maybe some red lipstick but no underwear and going out into a busy shopping centre and holding hands with a boy and being his girlfriend. I then thought about taking him to a desserted alleyway and dropping to my knees and taking his penis in my mouth and sucking on it until he came and I swallowed it all. I pictured the whole thing in my mind and I knew I really wanted to do it. The thought of it sounded so exciting. Of course I didn’t have the nerve
To be continued….